A Fragile State

So... I guess that this is the first of many random thoughts... I needed an outlet, but an outlet that I could share... but not necessarily share with people that I know. Does that make any sense?? Well, anyways, here are my random thoughts, and feel free to comment on them if you so choose.

I recently had a very scary experience. It really turned out to be fine, but at the same time I was terrified. I am quick to become close with people. That can be great, or it can hurt me. In the past it has hurt me, but more recently I have come to know someone who I have gotten close too, and who I trust isn't going to hurt me. Actually, there are a few people who have come into my life recently who I care a lot about and who I can trust. Yay for letting go of those insecurities in trusting friends.

There is something to be said about close friendships. When something goes wrong... it can scare the crap out of you. My friend is in a fragile state right now... I'm not going into details, but this week, I got a call from this friend on their way to the hospital. Now, in my heart, the whole time I was fine. I knew that she'd be fine in my heart, but in my head it wasn't happy. I am the friend who puts aside my own feelings to be strong for others, so when she asked me if I was okay, I said "No, but you don't have to deal with that".

Needless to say, I hung up the phone and cried my eyes out. Then my mom and another friend helped me calm down and helped heart meet head. The friend is fine, and will be fine... but again there is somethin to be said about close friendships. The thought of those close people not being in your life is a frightening one to say the least, and even though I knew and know that all is well.

Anyways... that is the first of many. Hope you enjoyed.